Monday, June 29, 2009

I'm Changing and You're Holding Me Back! Part 2

Ever notice that life can be sailing right along but as soon as you begin to get the itch for a change that says "somethings gotta give" - something does? Oh yes...and that 'something' is not always in the direction you wanted.

So you think.

This is the paradox in desiring happiness and fulfillment in life.

All that is NOT that will show up to be healed.

And don't you know, the higher you reach, the more "not thatness" you are going to have to handle.

Yes sirreee.

No worries though - eventually all will settle down and soon you'll be living the life that was waiting for you - the one you were attracting all along.

Having said that...

The last thing I mean is that the process itself will be all light and breezy, though it does get easier with practice ;)

The journey itself reminds me of something I once read on the process of change that I copied and tucked away during my own time of travail.

In alchemy, there is a stage called ‘the negredo’, the darkening.
There is a point in this process of turning base metal into gold when the earth shakes, the sky rains fire and the air fills with the smell of rotting flesh.

There is a point where all seems lost.

If the alchemist drops the cooking vessel, allowing chaos and smoke to make him afraid, the whole process must begin again.

The alchemist must believe in the process of change.
He must, in effect, reach outside himself for something larger, greater, and broader
than his own experience.

As he does this, "the shaking slows to a stop, the smoke clears, and the smell of death dissolves.

The impurities have been burned away.
The process begins its ascent from the dissolving, putrefying depths;

what was once disaster is now potential gold.

We never know what comes out of darkness while the whole world shakes.

When our vision is choked and all seems lost,
our task is to reach outside ourselves,
to connect to that which is larger, deeper, and wider than our own fear.

Chaos and outrage fuel movement, movement fuels transformation.

The mystic feels, then observes, and rising above
births life from the fire of his own creation."

This is the stuff of alchemy.

Heavy stuff...but then again so are the issues that we are all handling these days, and we will continue to handle as we Lighten Up!

What are you birthing during these times of change??

The ultimate realization is that noone else must change to make it easier for you to get there. The gift of the inside of you.

Blessings always!


Monday, June 15, 2009

I'm Changing and You're Holding Me Back! Part 1

I'm working with a client whose particular challenge is in the area of wanting approval from her family for the healthy change she is starting to make in her work, her lifestyle and with her living arrangements. She is improving her foundation across the board and literally feeling driven to oust the old suppressive values and open her arms to embrace the wildness of her true passion and the talents she possesses in that direction (which are plentiful by the way.)

She'd love it if someone in her family would just recognize who she actually IS and all that she is going through to improve her conditions. She sighs and moans and fights and crashes into walls of grief demanding - demanding! - their understanding and approval. "Just care dammit!! Can't any single ONE of you see what I'm doing here? Is it too much to ask for your support??" But noooooooo...she is not getting support OR approval. Not at all. She is getting resistance instead! Yes folks - resistance. Selfish and self serving she is. THEIR need that she just stays put is not being met! How dare she rock the boat?

Indeedy then. Sound familiar?? Anyplace in your own life where you've wanted to have something better and needed to buck the tide?

I bet, though there are degrees. Right now my client is facing it in spades.

There are a ton of psychological resource out there for this kind of dynamic, and I encourage you to seek for it. You will find. I especially recommend the books Dance of Intimacy and Dance of Anger, both by Harriet Lerner. Oldies but goodies.

There are many insights on how you can handle the work of growing spiritually as well. I have adopted this model from a complex and ancient body of knowledge, but the simplicity is clear. Do this and you're well on your way to making sense of the territory.

Imagine yourself inside a circle of your own creation. Make the territory sacred. It is yours and yours alone.

Facing the East: Determine what you need to do to be clear.
Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don't be mean. Give as much advance warning of your schedule as is possible. This allows others to plan accordingly. Be clear and concise about what you can and cannot do. Lots of explanation is not the point - nor is anyones agreement. Just your own clarity.

South: have courage and compassion.

Keep the love. Have courage to live your truth. You don't need to buy your way in. Do your work. Have courage with your own scale of success, budget and availability for others. Work within your own constraints and do not betray yourself in order to "look good" by anothers' measure. No need to get angry that "they won't let you" when you are on top of your own game.

West: Grow yourself.
No excuses necessary. Share your victories with those who do support your goals and give to those who can learn from you! Be the change you wish to see. Succeed in your own journey and those around you can only benefit. Use your light to be an asset in a world of fear.

North: Rest and Relax.
Appreciate your accomplishment. Your work in this area is done for now. Meditate, pray, sing, write in your journal - keep your toes in the water of life with a gentle breath in Self reliance and communion with The One.

This is your ultimate goal.

Part 2 is coming soon. Meanwhile practice being inside your circle, always moving clockwise through the Four Directions. Here you will find the light of ease.



Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Unexpected Help at BEA

As anyone who has spoken to me recently knows, I just returned from a couple of weeks in New York (my home state before moving to PA) and was able to attend Book Expo America 2009 while I was there. I expected to meet tons of valuable contacts in the publishing world and learn copious amounts of information about an industry that is changing right before our eyes.

Most of what I needed to accomplish in order to take the next steps in my business was indeed there at BEA. Like one-stop shopping, it was glorious to be flooded with hope, help and contacts to make the business end of my production company soar. We came away with every single one of our intentions checked off even to the last when we met a publisher who was ready for little more than a margarita as the show was closing, who enthusiastically invited our proposal as we stood among the ruins of his display.

For writers, authors and publishers these are exciting times! The powers we once relied upon to get published are changing - and sometimes vanishing - while new possibilities are opening that were just a dream less than a generation ago.

Self-initiation is a tremendous asset to those of us in this field, and spaces and places are opening for individuals to have a clearer voice. The opportunities that both the internet and social networking provide play no small role in changing the opportunities for anyone who truly wants to be heard - and this alone enables any of us with the will to find the way effectively.

While I was able to create a punch list of what I needed to accomplish while at the event, what I couldn't foresee was the nature of the interactions among the participants. This is territory where the Mystic enters through the front gate of your experience. and asks the question "who do you want to BE while you are here?" rather than settling for the simplicity of "what do you wish to accomplish."

These two dynamics are not mutually exclusive to those with eyes to see. Rather the observation of them both allows every moment to be a sacred moment and every opportunity to be one in which you can serve to help the world while you're getting things done.

To that end, part of our search at BEA was to find people who exemplified kindness, openness and helpful service. We did indeed succeed there too. I credit my husband Bob for teaching me a term called "fair exchange" where each party involved achieves a win-win. Fair exchange eclipses the simplicity of exchange of goods and services, although it certainly includes it. Fair exchange takes all the aspects of any exchange between people into account. No more climbing to the top by squashing the person beneath you. Can that possibly serve to elevate the world?

Then there is "exchange in abundance!" when you know that what you gave - or got - was more than you expected and maybe even more than you dared hope for.

Exchange in abundance? Well ain't that grand!!

The self-initiated Mystic moves their game piece to this square on the board of life, and in so doing will find any and every way to accomplish their abundant goals.

How to? Here are some simple and possibly "out of the ordinary" ideas from me...but you can go find your own and add to the list immeasurably.

Take the extra step to be helpful to whoever, whenever, wherever.

Give what you no longer use to someone who needs it.

If someone compliments something you have, consider giving it to them or sending them something similar as a gift.

If someone "wishes they could go" but can't afford to, consider supporting them.

If someone could go but needs someone to watch the kids/the store/the front, consider taking the time to spot them.

Teach the secrets of success in your field to the new generation following you.

Share your contacts.

Recommend liberally.

When you think of that good thing you could do for someone, don't stop there. DO IT!
It can make a world of difference just because you tried.

With this recognition in mind, we do hereby bestow our

Most Helpful Person Award

to author Iain Martin who, from our chance meeting at BEA, just keeps coming at us with an interest to help backed by great advise.

You can find out more about Iain by clicking here.

Thanks Iain! May you live long and prosper ;)