Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Isn't Self Care Selfish??
I remember one of my teachers saying "so you think you're going to fight the good fight now, eh? Go heal the world and make all the difference you came here for? How do you think you're going to do that if you don't think highly enough of your self in the first place?"
Well then. There's some heavy pondering going on there.
I don't believe I thought badly about myself exactly...just that I was being lots of things to please others. I was a good wife, a good daughter, a good student, a good friend. Isn't that what you're supposed to be?
When I had thoughts of doing for myself, especially when it collided with what others wanted or needed, it seemed selfish. Not only that, I got satisfaction from the results of my successful "other care!" Most healers do. And most women. And most good men.
I gave it my best shot I suppose, but didn't really understand the true implications until I studied Energy Anatomy...and recognized the desire to find Self as the software of the soul.
How then does caring for self rise above ego gratification to land at the top of the heap of positive Mystical traits?
The Mystic embraces the quality of self that resides within, and in his gentle support and listening care hears the truth of his own beating heart and the rat-a-tat-tatting of Self-awareness, Self-worth and Self-esteem. He stops denying and starts expressing Self as a vehicle in service to the Divine genius within.
Now he is strong enough - finally she is ready - at last we are honed through the realization of our power to take up the journey and carry our weight, not based upon other's approval, but on the strength of our own higher truth.
There's a beautiful poetic book called There's a Hole In My Sidewalk by Portia Nelson in which she describes the moment of recognizing the difference between loving the man she has lost and realizing the truth that they were both hiding inside the relationship.
"If I just pay enough attention to you, I won't have to look so hard at myself..."
In this territory we often experience grief - an ill-at-easeness that signals the emotion of letting go. If we are to be authentic and powerful then let go we must.
Marianne Williamson quotes from A Course in Miracles "It is not our darkness we fear most, it is our light...you are a child of God and your playing small does not serve the world."
In this way our Self care becomes Other care of the highest degree.
May you have ease releasing all that is no longer needed in your life and move gracefully into the life that is waiting for you to embrace...
...and may your choices always reflect the best possible result for all concerned.
Till next time,